Addressing a Jackson, Mississippi fund-raiser, Monday, June 20, President Ronald Reagan announced that his committee to cut waste from government spending intended to eliminate some 73 million copies of federal publications.
Included in the 2200 bulletins and brochures banished from government presses was a booklet instructing homeowners on how to have a sparkling, clean sink.
"I can see it all now," I told my husband at breakfast. "If recent history is an accurate barometer of this country's emotional climate concerning Reaganomics' weather, the President's announcement could trigger a deluge of protests."
Potential arguments against discontinuing the publication might be summarized as follows:
- Reagan is out of touch with the working classes who have to clean their own sinks.
- Initial appropriations for researching and preparing the pamphlet will go right down the drain.
- Without direct US Government instruction, desperate homeowners will turn to unreliable sources, leading to increased hospitalization for chemical burns, inhalation of toxic gases, and a peculiar form of depression known as "sinking spirits syndrome."
- Medical costs will soar, as hospitals scramble to meet the demand for related emergency care.
- Taxes will be raised to cover new research in the area of dirty-sink related disease.
- The decision will be detrimental to special interest groups who manufacture soap, scouring pads, and scale-removing agents.
- As protestors of the measure begin handcuffing themselves to washbasin pipes in congressional restrooms, there won't be a politician in Washington with "clean" hands.
- Throwing out the kitchen sink is only a step away from throwing in the towel.
