Dear Ellen,
So sorry I can't accept your
luncheon invitation for Monday. You see, I always start my diet on the
first day of the week.
However, if you would consider
giving me a rain check, I'd be glad to come on any Tuesday, Wednesday, or
Thursday.
Fridays are out of the question,
because I have my Mexican cooking class at noon. On Saturdays, my husband
takes me out to Golden Corral. And, of course, there's church each Sunday,
after which my in-laws always come for dinner--this week it's baked ham with
raisin sauce, cheesy potatoes, French-fried onion rings, and banana cream
pie.
And then we're back to Monday
again, which is absolutely impossible, unless you're open to some suggestions
for healthy choices that won't jeopardize my New Year's resolution to lose
weight.
For example, cantaloupe balls make a
wonderful low-fat appetizer. We could eat them a la mode and not feel the
least bit guilty if we followed up with a grapefruit juice chaser.
My Aunt Bertha has the most
refreshing recipe. She whisks in some brown sugar and then runs it through
a strainer to get rid of any remaining high-calorie lumps. Just one glass
will purify your system and burn off any fat molecules that make it to your intestines.
I’d be glad to bring my ham-less
hoagies for the main course. With enough cheese and mayo on the buns,
we’ll never even miss the meat.
What about lite éclairs for dessert? Yes, although you leave out the custard
filling, the extra-creamy chocolate glaze is just divine.
But, tell me--what will everyone be
wearing? Would my jersey tent dress do? You know the dark knit with
vertical stripes and leg of mutton sleeves?
Still, if you insist on serving your famous
Hawaiian chicken with honey and cashews, I’ve got a really awesome muumuu I could wear...
Got a really awesome muumuu I could wear!
