Making Spooky Halloween Costumes

(Updated from the Lakeside Review, October 12, 1983)    

Once upon a midnight dreary,

While I pondered weak and weary

Over many a Halloween costume get-up,

Suddenly, I felt quite fed up.

“Somehow, I said, (in a tone less than lenient),

“I’ve got to make Halloween more convenient.”

     That was last year.  This year, I went ahead and did it—came up with an ingenious line of easy Halloween disguises guaranteed to scare the apple cider out of anyone.  Each costume is based on a simple leotard and appropriate make-up, props, or accessories.

Pin Cushion: Decorate the front of a bright red leotard with a random pattern of straight pins.

Voodoo Doll:  Same as above with a black leotard. 

Tossed Salad:  Rinse hair in a mixture of vinegar and olive oil before donning a green leotard.  Carry salad tongs.

Crayon:  Wear a red leotard and tights.  Add a matching, cone-shaped, construction paper  hat.  Dip soles of shoes in red  paint just before leaving the house.

Ballpoint Pen:  See “Crayon.”  Black leotard, blue hat and paint. Carry a spiral notebook.

Purple People Eater:  Purple tights and leotard.  Grip a rubber Barbie Doll between front teeth.

Skunk:  Tack a length of white satin ribbon to the back of a black leotard.  Employ a perfume atomizer filled with broccoli water. 

Bumble Bee:  Wrap yellow ribbon stripes around a black leotard.  Pull a gathering thread tightly through a doubled rectangle of nylon net and attach to shoulders for wings.  Carry a loaded dart gun.

Lemon Meringue Pie:  Yellow leotard and tights.  Spray face with shaving cream.

Mad Dog:  Same as above with brown leotard and tights.  Growl as you walk.

Doggie Doo:  Brown leotard and matching cone-shaped hat.  Paint face brown.  Carry a full pooper scooper.

Skinned Knee:  Flesh-colored leotard and tights.  Using adhesive tape, fasten large gauze bandage to tummy.  Dribble with ketchup.

Fried Egg:  White leotard and tights.  Attach an orange felt "yolk" to tummy.

Little Jack Horner:  Any colored leotard.  Paint thumb purple. 

Donald Trump:  Same as above, except paint face red, instead of thumb.  Wear an orange wig and a red tie.  Continuously touch index finger to thumb to create a circle.