“Do your children really do all the
things you write about?"
Whenever a mom asks me that, I know
her children are no longer little, and she's forgotten they ever were.
No one who is currently up to her
neck in Pampers, peanut butter, and Legos could read questions like the
following, without wondering who's been eavesdropping on her daily routine:
1. How is it that whenever
I'm elbow-deep in bread dough, my four-year-old suddenly has to go and
can't get his jeans unzipped?
2. Why is it that my
three-year- old always manages to dump out a whole box of Rice Krispies when
company is due in five minutes and the vacuum belt is broken?
3. How is it that my
kindergartener only remembers it's library day when there's just time enough to
call me from school and say her books are still at home and overdue?
4. Why is it that the sheets
on my sons' beds could rival the Sahara when it comes to shifting sand?
5. How is it that my oldest
daughter only has homework when I need
help with the housework?
6. Why is it that cups filled
with water are so much more stable at the dinner table than those containing
fruit punch?
7. How is it that the shoes
on sale are always one size too small for any child of mine who needs a new
pair?
8. Why is it that a kid who
can hear a candy wrapper rustle from any place in the house cannot hear a
single thing when I'm giving him a face-to-face job description?
9. How is it that my
precocious baby only sings the National Anthem when visitors have left the
room?
10. Why is it that out of
fifteen white socks in the laundry, only the two with holey heels are mates?
11. How is it that a child
who would eat burnt toast if it had peanut butter on it, will not even taste
bread crusts spread with Jiff, or Peter Pan?
12. How is it that when my
toddler paints the kitchen walls with Smuckers and then gives me a kiss that
tastes like strawberry jam, motherhood is suddenly a breeze!
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| Why is the garbage can always the most intriguing place in the house? |
