When a child hears a sound, he raises one hand to indicate his ability to decipher tones within a given decibel range. Of course, if he fails to hear the sound, his hand remains motionless, and the diagnostician takes note of the child’s hearing impairment.
However, such hearing tests do not tell the whole story. A youngster whose ears pick up the faintest blip in the examining room quite often suffers from intermittent deafness at home, with symptoms beginning in the morning before he even gets out of bed.
Symptoms are most often reported by the child's mother, with a typical case study going like this:
Mom: Rise and shine, Junior. It's time to get up.
Son: Zzz—Zzz!
Mom: Come on, Son! Your alarm has been buzzing for 20 minutes.
Son: Zzz—Zzz!
Mom: Young Man, you'd better be out of bed by the time I count to three! One, two, THREE!!!
Son: Aw right, aw right! But ya don't have to yell!
Mom: If I didn't yell, you wouldn't hear me.
Son: Whadaya mean I wouldn't hear you? You think I'm deaf or something?
Mom: Well, sometimes I do wonder. Like yesterday when I told you to take out the garbage, and you walked right by the trash can and left it sitting there. It's still sitting there!
Son: I guess I didn't hear you.
Mom: And last night, when I asked if you had finished your homework, I could have been talking to the Man in the Moon, the way you kept on staring at the television screen.
Son: Guess I didn't hear you then, either.
Mom: Ten minutes later you turned your music on so loud that all the neighbors called up mad.
Son: Why didn't you tell me?
Mom: I did, but you didn't hear me.
Son: Well, maybe my tunes were a little loud, but that's because I like them the way, not because there's anything wrong with my hearing.
Mom: So, if there's nothing wrong with your hearing, I guess I'm safe in asking you to take that garbage out before you go to school this morning?
Son: Whadju say?
Mom: I said, “TAKE THAT GARBAGE OUT BEFORE YOU GO TO SCHOOL THIS MORNING!!!”
Son: Aw right! Aw right! But I still don't see why you always have to yell!
