February 24, 2021

PULLUM’S POND, MY CHILDHOOD SANCTUARY

 If you sat behind the “No Fishing” sign at Pullum’s Pond, you could catch all the blue gills you wanted and not break the law, my friend Karen told me.

I was, maybe 9-years-old, living in Clearfield, Utah, prior to the development of Lakeside Square just west of the pond site.

K—‘s logic suited me fin in those days before I became too squeamish to bait my own barbed hook with a fat grub foraged from beneath a mossy log.  Sometimes I didn’t even bait my hook, but merely dangled it loosely into a school of swarming fry in hopes of snagging tail or fin. Whipping back my makeshift rod, I’d drag out a flat bony sunfish with gills rippling in and out like red-tinged louvers.

I never kept any fish for more than a few seconds.  After admiring the oily iridescence of its quivering sides, I would tenderly release my scaly catch, holding my breath lest the hapless creature should turn belly side up.  Usually, the freed fish recovered instantly, zigzagging off in a silvery ripples that remained imprinted in my mind like jet streaks on the sky.

Pullum’s Pond and its surrounding swamps were a fantasy land retreat to my city dweller’s mind.  Just down the street from Cherry Hills, our tract of tidy brick ramblers with postage-stamp yards, it provided a cool oasis from the asphalt and concrete of suburban existence.

Some folks said the pond, fed by natural springs, was bottomless.  I wondered about that, but still I was too cautious to try swimming there—never even waded, though sometimes I picked black raspberries along the woody banks or gathered slimy black snails from the mucky driftwood-clogged perimeters.

K—-‘s little brother, T—- “Tagabout,” sometimes threw a whole handful of snails against the side of their garage upon arriving home.  We’d watch the resulting splash of black ooze down the bricks and feel sad.  Just a little.  Next time we went to our pond, we wouldn’t let T—- go with us we’d say.   But he always did.

We had a tree hut down there where we spent lethargic hours linking tubes of hollow snake grass and dandelion stems into necklaces and bracelets.  If you wore one for more than 20 minutes, someone told us, you would turn into a snake.

Once we made T—- wear snake grass on his wrist for three hours, but he was still T—- when he took it off.  He continued to tag around after us until we told him his tongue was beginning to fork.  Then he ran home to look in the mirror.

K—- was good at climbing trees, and sometimes she’d shimmy up the gnarled trunk of the “bird nest” elm and peek into clutches of mud and sticks for signs of life.  Once she accidentally dislodged a tiny speckled robin no bigger than a walnut shell.  We watched its gaping mouth open and close in a silent scream, as we repeatedly tried to put him back to stay.

When a bulldozer came and filled in the marsh, we were devastated.  But that rumbling yellow enemy of earth and rock was just the first of many to come.  On the opposite shores of Pullum’s pond, the unassuming trailer park with its overgrown willows seemed to vanished overnight, as the bright shops of Lakeside Square rose up like a red curtain to the past.

Banished then from my childhood sanctuary and banished from my childhood, I no longer go to Pullum’s pond to fish or play.  I go to Lakeside Square to buy flowers and books and groceries.  Occasionally, I see a movie there.

But sometimes, when I peek around the buildings that separate me from my long ago sanctuary, I see a silvery zigzag flash beneath a green-mirror surface of water, and I know for sure there is no bottom now to Pullum’s pond.

(Note:  Even Lakeside Square has faded since this was written around 1982.  No grocery store, no movie theatre, just a row of nondescript businesses in what is now a low-commercial rent district.  Time marches on.)



February 20, 2021

LIFE BEFORE PIZZA MUST HAVE BEEN A BUMMER

I’ve had a hard time convincing my children how tough things were back in the Fifties when I was growing up.  Somehow, the old I had to walk ten miles to school through three feet of drifting snow routine doesn’t work on youngsters who spend more time riding on a school bus than they do working on their homework.

My kids, who fight over possession of the two full bathrooms in our house, are not at all impressed when I tell them my childhood home only had an outhouse during the first three years Daddy took to build it.

They take even less notice of the fact that I didn't know anyone who had a television set until I was four-years-old.  And they shrug their shoulders when I tell them that cars came without air conditioning or seat belts and houses came without automatic dishwashers and microwave ovens back then.

My daughters yawn when I say I never saw a handheld blow dryer until I was in college, and my sons are only mildly interested in hearing that the smallest computer in my childhood filled several good-sized rooms.

They really ganged up on me the last time I tried to help them see how many advantages their generation has compared to mine:

    Yeah, Mom you sure had a rough time of it...

    When hamburgers cost nineteen cents...

    And you could get two Snickers for a dime...

    When all the theaters showed double features...

    And there was no pollution or acid rain...

    Or holes in the ozone layer...

    And you never had to lock your doors!

And I never tasted pizza until I was in fourth grade, and my mom came home from Homer's Market with the newest rage--a boxed mix that baked up into something resembling a thin sheet of cardboard sprinkled with tomato sauce, oregano, and grated Parmesan.  That night she had a party and invited all her friends over for a slice.  I got a corner piece and thought it was the most delicious thing this side of Elvis Presley.

    "Gosh, Mom," one child finally put things in perspective, "life must have been a bummer before that." 

                                        

                                       

                                    

 


February 17, 2021

BUT SANTA STILL BRINGS THE PUPPY


The Christmas I remember best did not come in a single awe-inspiring package to be opened on one occasion and reopened through memory as ensuing years passed.  There was no "match girl" episode, no sudden release from pain or poverty, no miraculous healing of any kind to hallow my holiday revery.

Nevertheless, some common kinds of events, occurring over and over in thousands of homes besides my own, have forged together in m mind creating a gold gift of refection that becomes for me "a Christmas to remember."

Each year, no matter how time belies the possibility, I become again a child.  I am 8 years old, the first of five children.  For weeks I have been search the house for evidence that Santa Claus does or does not exist.  Reason tells me that he is "impossible," but in my heart, I want him to "be."

Already I have found a life-sized baby doll behind the headboard of my parents' bed, as well as a curly pink plush poodle, the Fifi I admired at Skaggs Drug and Variety just the week before.  But nowhere is the live puppy I have wanted so badly sice my little poke-eared terrier "Tippy disappeared.

My hopeful mind tells me that perhaps the parents are only responsible for some, not all of the gifts--Santa just has room in his sleigh for the most important things.

But my friend Linda's mom has already told her for sure that St.  Nicholas is "just pretend."  When I question my own mother, she says that Santa Claus is real for those who believe. I smile with relief.  She knows I understand, but she has given me the option that I seek.  I need to believe.  I want to believe.

Christmas Eve I go to bed very early.  I know Santa must have plenty of time to complete his mission beneath our Christmas tree.

I am awake long before dawn. Maybe I haven't even slept at all. But since the house is very quiet, I reason that he must have already come and gone.  Perhaps when I blinked.

Unable to contain myself, I creep into the living room  There is the baby doll.  There is the pink poodle.  There is my stocking bulging with hardtack and candy canes. But nowhere is the puppy I want so badly.  

Hugging the plush poodle, I tiptoe into Mom and Daddy's room.  I know what they will ask, but my answer is tentative.  Begrudging.

"Marti got a doll, and I got this poodle."

"Did Santa leave you anything else?"

"I guess not."

Halfheartedly I wander back for one more look, not daring too much hope.  And there she is, sitting in the old frieze rocking chair the much chewed en of a red ribbon dangling from her neck.  My puppy.  For the rest of my life, Santa Claus is very real to me.

Years later, my own 8-year-old daughter asks, "Is Santa Claus for reals?"

I answer truthfully "As long as you believe, Santa is for reals!"

She smiles with relief.  I know she understands.

The Christmas I remember best did not come in a single awe-inspiring package to be opened on one occasion and reopened through memory as ensuing years passed.  There was no "match girl" episode, no sudden release from pain or poverty, no miraculous healing of any kind to hallow my holiday revery.

Nevertheless, some common kinds of events, occurring over and over in thousands of homes besides my own, have forged together in m mind creating a gold gift of refection that becomes for me "a Christmas to remember."

Each year, no matter how time belies the possibility, I become again a child.  I am 8 years old, the first of five children.  For weeks I have been search the house for evidence that Santa Claus does or does not exist.  Reason tells me that he is "impossible," but in my heart, I want him to "be."

Already I have found a life-sized baby doll behind the headboard of my parents' bed, as well as a curly pink plush poodle, the Fifi I admired at Skaggs Drug and Variety just the week before.  But nowhere is the live puppy I have wanted so badly sice my little poke-eared terrier "Tippy disappeared.

My hopeful mind tells me that perhaps the parents are only responsible for some, not all of the gifts--Santa just has room in his sleigh for the most important things.

But my friend Linda's mom has already told her for sure that St.  Nicholas is "just pretend."  When I question my own mother, she says that Santa Claus is real for those who believe. I smile with relief.  She knows I understand, but she has given me the option that I seek.  I need to believe.  I want to believe.

Christmas Eve I go to bed very early.  I know Santa must have plenty of time to complete his mission beneath our Christmas tree.

I am awake long before dawn. Maybe I haven't even slept at all. But since the house is very quiet, I reason that he must have already come and gone.  Perhaps when I blinked.

Unable to contain myself, I creep into the living room  There is the baby doll.  There is the pink poodle.  There is my stocking bulging with hardtack and candy canes. But nowhere is the puppy I want so badly.  

Hugging the plush poodle, I tiptoe into Mom and Daddy's room.  I know what they will ask, but my answer is tentative.  Begrudging.

"Marti got a doll, and I got this poodle."

"Did Santa leave you anything else?"

"I guess not."

Halfheartedly I wander back for one more look, not daring too much hope.  And there she is, sitting in the old frieze rocking chair the much chewed en of a red ribbon dangling from her neck.  My puppy.  For the rest of my life, Santa Claus is very real to me.

Years later, my own 8-year-old daughter asks, "Is Santa Claus for reals?"

I answer truthfully "As long as you believe, Santa is for reals!"

She smiles with relief.  I know she understands.




COMMENTS OF YOUTH HAUNT ADULT MOM

 "When I grow up, I'm not even going to have a junk drawer," I told my mother many years ago.

She had assigned me the odious job of cleaning out the clutter that accumulated in the bin beneath the breadboard, and I was up to my elbows in unidentified screws, nibbled pencil stubs, and many other odds and ends of questionable origins and worth.

"Yes, you will," Mom answered with the same mildness she used to address my baby brother when she saw the humor in his refusal to take a bath.

I didn't see any point in continuing the verbal debate just then, when I could go ahead and show her someday.  But I did take the opportunity to orchestrate great disdain for the task at hand by loudly clunking a toothless comb and three rusty Mason jar rings into the kitchen garbage pail.

When Mother didn't seem to notice, I repeated the performance with a long forgotten pair of stove bolts and a splayed toothbrush of debatable ownership.

What's the matter with Sharon?"  my younger sister smirked.

"Nothing that ten or so years and a houseful of kids won't cure!"  My mother replied, closing the discussion by turning on the vacuum.

I can still hear that vacuum today sometimes, when I move through the house I now share with my husband and six little "pack rats."

"Yes, you will; yes, you will; yes, you will," it seems to hum, as my modern Hoover inhales crumbs and petrified apple cores from the bottom of a newly emptied kitchen drawer.

"Mother, where are we going to put all this junk?"  my ten-year-old daughter asks, holding up a decapitated Barbie doll, with the kind of body language usually reserved for addressing dead mice.

"In the oven,"  I answer.

"The oven?'

"Yes, but only for a few hours.  Your..."

 "Grandma is coming over for a visit,"  my daughter reads my mind.

 

 

 

 


February 1, 2021

Stress? Just Be Organized

    "The key to managing stress is organization and multitasking," I told my husband.  Starting today, I really am going to get organized."

    "Here we go again," Dave replied in the tone of voice he usually reserves for condolences.  "The last time you got organized the baby redecorated the kitchen with A-1 Sauce and strawberry jam, along with everything else she could drag out of the fridge during your 9 a.m. shower."

    "So, I had a little problem with scheduling.  This time I plan to shower before Julie even wakes up."

    "You mean we're back to rise and shine at 5:30 in the morning?"

    "Well, not exactly.  You can sleep in 'til 6, if you want to."

    "You've got to be kidding. Even a sloth couldn't sleep through 15 minutes of Carmen sung to the rhythm of running shower water."

    "When else can I practice my singing?"

    "Why not five minutes after I leave for work?"

    "No go.  That time slot is reserved for meditation."

    "You could meditate over your lunch."

    "Uh uh, that's when I plan to study German."

    "You're going to study German with a mouthful of cottage cheese and pineapple?"

    "Yes, that will augment the guttural sounds."

    "If guttural's what you want, why don't you sprechen your deutsch while you're doing afternoon exercises?

    "Can't!  I'll be folding the laundry between knee bend sets, while Julie naps."

    "I don't suppose you could fold the laundry any other time?"

    "Nope!  I've got every minute planned right down to the 59th sweep of the second hand.  I'm going to be so organized this time you won't recognize me.  Stress and lack of time for myself are going to be a thing of the past."

    "Are you sure you have to do this?"

    "It's the only way."

    "But what about me?"  That dear man sounded melancholy.  "Where do I fit in this great organizational scheme of yours?'

    "Right here.  Right now.  I've scheduled 20 minutes for you to talk me out of it."