There’s something depressing about a poinsettia when it's January 10, and you can't decide what to do with that garish red plant that somehow ought to wilt the day Christmas is over but
doesn’t.
You could continue to water
it. But looking at a poinsettia this
time of the year is like listening to hard rock music at 6 A.M, especially if
you don’t like hard rock at any other time of day.
Then again, you could throw it in the trash if you don't mind having your kids look at you like you just sent
the family dog to the pound.
“Mommy, why are you trying to kill
that beautiful poinsettia? How would you
like it if a giant flower came along and threw you in the garbage?”
Of course you can always stop and explain
to your children that a poinsettia isn’t actually a flower—it’s a member of the
spurge family, and somehow spurge doesn’t have a nice sound to it the way it
rhymes with scourge and purge, not to mention splurge which is what you’ve been doing
too much of with your money for the past month.
And you could tell them those
crimson petals aren’t really petals but bracts that contain a semi-poisonous
sap known to cause abdominal cramps if eaten and also known to irritate the
skin and eyes, so you can’t even use it to find out whether “he loves you or
loves you not” without jeopardizing your dermatological health.
Sadly enough, though, you can explain
all that until you’re as blue in the face as that darn spurge is red, but your
kids are still going to call you a murderer if you throw it away.
So, what do you do? You can’t even give it away. Giving away a poinsettia in January is just about as easy as
giving away a zucchini in August.
In desperation, I turned to my littles for advice.
Matthew said to wrap the stems with
florist tape and use it for a boutonniere.
Christie said to spray paint it another color. Mikey said to put it on someone’s grave. Julie said to shove it under the bed until next
Christmas.
Jennifer suggested getting new carpet in a matching shade of red, but
Stacee, who is always thinking of others thought we should give it to someone
for Valentine’s Day.
I decided that was the best idea of
all. If I can make it to February 14, I’ll
give it to the garbage man. Won’t he be
surprised to get a Valentine from me!
--January 1990
