Putting your foot in your mouth is at least as bad as sticking it in quicksand. The harder you try to get it out, the deeper in it goes.
Of course, there are a few people who always manage to keep their feet planted squarely beneath them where they belong.
These are the rare folks who ambulate through life without ever committing such faux pas as asking someone when their baby is due three weeks after she's delivered, or inviting a middle-aged acquaintance to introduce his mother, when the little woman standing beside him is actually his middle-aged wife.
Such social sure-foots live a carefree existence. Only they can sample pickled pigs feet without wondering if they should save them for a possible cross-species transplant. Words like retract, recant, and rephrase are not even in their vocabulary.
Most of us, however, know from experience that a foot in the mouth leaves a bitter aftertaste. Nervous habits like chewing our nails--finger and toe--are second nature to us, as we try to make things better and end up making them worse. Much worse.
"I didn't notice how much flatter your stomach is, because I was so busy looking at your face," we might stutter to the newly-delivered mom.
That's another thing about talking when your mouth is full of toes--you can't help but stutter.
"You say this is your wife, not your mother? I-I-Aye Yi Yi! Pass the toe jam, please!"
When you get right down to it, there's really only one thing to do once you've stuck your foot in your mouth--shove it in even further. With your mouth thus plugged, there'll be no way on earth you can put your other foot in it!
